This is what I like to read...

"Johnson didn't have the kind of game you'd expect for a first-round pick, but, in fairness, few running backs do when facing the Ravens. Consider him a borderline No. 1 RB and confidently start him Week 2 at the Browns. Against that cupcake opponent, he should make up for any points he's deprived your Fantasy team so far. "

1. Well, Rudi DID have the kind of game I would expect from a first-round pick

2. My Browns are indeed "cupcakes."

3. I'm going to confidently BENCH him in the second week because I don't need him cancelling out the fact that the Browns are going to give up 200 rushing yards this weekend. No, really, 200 yards.

4. Of course maybe I'll get lucky and Rudi will get himself arrested this week. Please?