I was also "close" to succeeding in the bathroom...

You don't get close to succeeding. You fail, or you succeed. Anything else is figure skating.

I'll just go ahead and whip this out

The Budget

I was just waiting for Sid to write a column explaining why it isn't Brewster's fault we suck. It only took 24 hours.

So, we don't spend on football? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THEY ARE PLAYING FOOTBALL IN, DIPSHIT? Oh, a new stadium. Does that count for spending, old fuck?

Q: Why did we have to spend for a new stadium on campus?
A: The previous one was off campus.

Q: Were we ever on campus?
A: Yes, for a long fucking time.

Q: Why did we go off campus?
A: Because Lou Holtz said so. Oh, and people like old fuck went along with it. It was a great idea. "Helps recruiting". Also, helps the Star Tribune has a bunch of land right by the Metrodome.

Sid Hartman has fucked up sports in Minnesota more than any other person.

Hey Mom, Look Over There!!! Yoink!

So Rumeal Robinson isn't a good person.

Not only did he borrow a large sum of money under the name of a fake business and spent the money on a condo and a Benzo, he also TRIED TO SELL HIS MOMS HOUSE WITHOUT HER KNOWING IT.  His own mother.

Wow. He sure is making Wolverine basketball proud.

Hey Ole Miss

You're in a big boy conference. Hell, I thought you had a chance at the national championship last year. Almost put a little on it. You started the season against a more or less local team. When I think of the Ohio Valley I think Jacksonville St. Who doesn't? This team plays in a division with one more "A" than you, so you should win. Here is the problem: they are champions. They won the conference last year. A champion is a champion. Try Austin Peay next year.

Let's read the comments from the newspaper. Notice the guy doing the blog quit before halftime. Nice work. Thanks for the attendance figure, you can go now.

Mississippi was only -160 for this game. Maybe I shouldn't be that hard on them.

Who's Yo Baby Daddy!?

Spike did a Top-10 Athletes With the Most Illegitimate Children.

Yeah...

Do you know any syphilitic, one-legged meth-addicted hookers who like lighting things on fire and talking about commitment? If so, the Houston Rockets alumni association may have someone willing to violate her behind a T.G.I. Fridays while Vernon Maxwell films it.

Interested? Read more here.

As a side note, the Mad Max reference got me interested in rediscovering the problems he had with the law.  On his Wikipedia page, there is a section dedicated to "Behaviorial Incidents."  I'll bring your attention to the 1997 incident.  Wow.