Hey Philadelphia,

Man, it was a fun ride, eh? Coming all the way back? That last month of the season, the Mets fading away, getting back to those first playoffs since Mitch Williams turned and watch it go real far? That must've been quite a blast.

Here's the thing about all that though: you unknowingly brought two of the greatest losers into the playoffs with you. They snuck in, likely in somebody's luggage, silently waiting to sabotage your season.

Hey, listen, I know. I know what it's like. You think you want to tear Kyle Lohse's face off after giving up a grand slam in game 2? We had to endure that idiot for 4 years. We had to look at all that potential and watch him flush it down the toilet one bad pitch after another. We had to watch him throw a shutout and come back the next time out and give up 9 runs in the second inning.

And tonight, as J.C. Romero begged to stay in the game, and two pitches later gave up a single that proved to be the game winner? We've seen that and a lot worse. We were stuck with him, too, for 4 years. One time he was even mentioned as a possible closer. He once set a Twins record for most consecutive innings without an earned run. You know the funny thing about that statistic? It's that it doesn't count the runs he gave up from guys that were already on base. Of which, I would have to ballpark his percentage during his entire Twins tenure at or around 100 percent. If there was a guy on second and a lefthander coming to bat with two outs, just go ahead and put J.C. in there. Oh, the lefty will get a hit, scoring the run, but don't worry. J.C. will strike the next guy out, thereby padding his stats and allowing the Twins to gain something of value from him in a trade.

See, these guys, they seethe failure. It's in their blood. They can never succeed. So don't worry. They fail, the sun rises, the Rockies make the NLCS. It happens.

I'm sorry, I tried to warn you.