October 29, 2007

Failure Fantasy NBA Draft Recap

We drafted them out tonight, and I think I speak for us all when I say I am very proud of all our teams. We struck a balance between thugs, weaklings, never-has-beens, and Ukrainians. Here is what we came away with:

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Pleads No Contest

Team: Orlando Magic

Players

Sebastian Telfair
Zach Randolph
Randolph Morris
Antoine Walker
Yi Jianlin
Darrick Martin
Oleksiy Pecherov
Speedy Claxton


Groin - Out Indefinitely

Team: Atlanta Hawks

Players

Shawn Livingston
Darko Milicic
Quincy Douby
Jannero Pargo
Johan Petro
Samuel Dalembert
Jamario Moon
Yakhouba Diawara


Vin Baker's Minty Fresh Breath

Team: Los Angeles Clippers

Players

Jerome James
Marko Jaric
Keith McCloud
Bo Outlaw
Mark Blount
Jason Collins
Royal Ivey
Ron Artest


Whore Island

Team: Philadelphia 76ers

Players

Rafer Alston
Raymond Felton
Ben Gordon
Jamal Crawford
Josh Smith
Rashad McCants
Beno Udrih
Stephen Jackson


Eddie Telfair's Booze Train To Hot Town

Team: Minnesota Timberwolves

Players

Ben Wallace
Jamaal Tinsley
Chris Kaman
Derek Anderson
Zaza Pachulia
Damon Stoudemire
J.R. Smith
Ruben Patterson


Baskets and Bullets

Team: New York Knicks

Deshawn Stevenson
Brian Skinner
Brian Scalabrine
Joel Pryzbilla
Hassan Adams
Kyrylo Fesenko
Jake Voskhul
DJ Mbenga



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Note, to those who missed last night's activities, feel free to draft from the remaining pool of losers and make yourself a team. There should be plenty out there. And to all participants, remember to email me your starters, otherwise I'll just assume we'll use the first 5 guys you drafted.

Game on!

EDIT - It appears as though Jerome James' fat finally broke his knee. Oops! I'll redraft Michael Doleac in his place.

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