Vietnam Vet Playin Air Guitar

I've seen some shit-all crazy things in my life, but I've never seen anything like that pooch punt in the Carolina-Green Bay game. Are you kidding? They fake a field goal... so they can punt? What the? Why? If you miss the field goal, the other team takes over on the 34 yard line... which is about the average starting spot for a drive. I didn't think it was possible to see something like that - it's like if a quarterback dropped back and pump-faked a bunch of times to throw deep, then just stopped and kneeled. "Ha ha, got you!" The return of the punt is truly inconsequential... it's a stupid move regardless. "Hey, we're going to score some points on you, HA HA JUST KIDDING!"

The totals:

Gary Anderson's Record Of Consecutive Field Goals Made Should Buy Him A Ticket To The Front Of The Line At Old Country Buffet - 22
The Cleveland Steamers - 18
Smelly Pirate Hookers - 14
Tony Mandarich's Back Acne - 10
Team Hold Spoon Over Flame - 7

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I'm going to try to not make this a running theme, but this week was another great one for the receivers. It seems like with the weather getting colder, quarterbacks are afraid to throw the ball deep, which means a lot of shorter routes to losers who can't break tackles. Sounds good to me!

Ladies and gentlemen: Bobby Wade and Shaun McDonald!





As a disclaimer - I had to give this award to Bobby, even though he was on the winning side - because I don't consider the Oakland Raiders to be a real team. Winning against them is like eating a whole bowl of french fries.

Let's see what our heroes did this week:

Bobby Wade, the smaller, weaker version of a good wide receiver, caught 5 passes. That's pretty solid! He only got 45 yards. This against the Raider defense which employs a very fat old man at nose tackle. He also fumbled, which combined with Tarvaris' 2 turnovers, kept the Raiders in the game all the way until the end. Unfortunately, they were done in by this award's namesake in the closing quarter.

Shaun McDonald caught 7 passes for 113 yards. That's awesome! Good job, kid! The bad news is that he fumbled. TWICE. So, you catch 7 passes and fumble 2 of them. Hmmm... those numbers don't look so good now. Add it all up, and it equals another loss for the Lions, and a Failure Of The Week Award for the Steamers! Keep up the good work, losers!