April 13, 2008

Failure Baseball 2008 Rosters

The draft, as always, went off with all the proper errors and mistakes, but that doesn't mean that we didn't all field damn worthy teams. Here are the lineups for the 2008 season, highlighted by a guy name Ubaldo.

Best. Pick. Ever.

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Bacon n Butter (gee I wonder who's team that is)

Team
Texas Rangers

Pitchers
Scott Olsen
Shawn Chacon
Juan Rincon
Andy Sonnanstine
Ubaldo Jimenez

Hitters
Adam Dunn
Dan Uggla
Andruw Jones
Frank Thomas
Paul Konerko
Carlos Lee
Kenji Johijima
Clete Thomas
AJ Pierzinski

Outright Release

Team
Pittsburgh Pirates

Pitchers
Gil Meche
Todd Wellemeyer
C.C. Sabathia
Brett Myers
Chad Gaudin

Hitters
David Ortiz
Russell Martin
Jack Hannahan
Adam LaRoche
Jose Guillen
Ronnie Belliard
Troy Tulowitzki
Gary Matthews
Matt Diaz

The Jesus Sanchez

Team
Florida Marlins

Pitchers
Jose Contreras
Barry Zito
Matt Morris
LaTroy Hawkins
John Danks

Hitters
Adam Everett
Richie Sexson
Juan Uribe
Elijah Dukes
Delmon Young
Gary Sheffield
Jason Bay
Rich Aurilia
Rick Ankiel

The Short Bus Drivers

Team
Kansas City Royals

Pitchers
Daniel Cabrera
Bob Howry
Eric Gagne
Zach Miner
Andrew Miller

Hitters
Jason Bartlett
Jack Cust
Julio Lugo
Khalil Greene
Ryan Howard
Torii Hunter
Bill Hall
Rickie Weeks
Adrian Beltre

Billz

Team
Tampa Bay

Pitchers
Jeff Francis
A.J. Burnett
Paul Maholm
Adam Loewen
Kyle Lohse

Hitters
Miguel Tejada
Ray Durham
Travis Buck
Hunter Pence
Chris B. Young
Austin Kearns
Vladimir Guererro
David Eckstein
Mike Lamb

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So that's it! We've pretty much got every base covered - drug users, easy outs, strikeout machines, pitching machines, and even a guy named Todd. So let the failing begin!

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