His face is like that last thing a _____ see's when he is getting dirt thrown on him

If I may reach back to the days of Altered Beast...

Welcome To Your Doom.

The 2006 Failure Draft went better than could have been expected. We have 5 participants, 40 total failures to watch, and we're going to be on them like stink on a monkey, alllllllll year. We did a fantastic job at even failing at drafting our teams. Later, I will touch up the transcript of the chat session and post it here, but for now, revel in the glory:

(team names subject to change)
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DNP - Stab Wounds:

Jerome James
Mike Sweetney
Zarko Cabarkapa
Gilbert Arenas
Eddie Gill
Beno Udrih
Chris Webber
Zach Randolph

Team - Seattle Supersonics
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The Christ Punchers:

Eddy Curry
Troy Hudson
Vin Baker
Eddie Griffin
Rafer Alston
Ruben Patterson
Sam Cassell
Marcus Banks

Team - Atlanta Hawks
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Cap'n Kanani:

Tracy McGrady
Danny Fortson
Ron Artest
Sean May
Voshon Leonard
Jermaine Oneal
Amare Stoudemire
Zoran Planinic

Team - New York Knicks
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Team Lidle to Munson:

Stephon Marbury
Baron Davis
Sebastian Telfair
Quincy Douby
Tyronne Lue
Andrew Bynum
Shareef Abdur Rahim
Kris Humphries

Team - New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets
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Excited For Jail:

David Harrison
John Edwards
Channing Frye
Stephen Jackson
Al Jefferson
Darius Miles
Robert Swift
Linas Kleiza

Team - Portland Trailblazers
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So there you have it. The failures have spoken. Now we sit back and await the swirling shitstorm.