The purpose of this blog is two-fold:
1. To manage and chart our Failure Fantasy Sports League
2. To highlight some truly remarkable failures in sports and, occasionally, life
We will begin with an NBA Failure Season, the rules of which are below. Please feel free to contribute in the comments, or if you cannot muster the success it takes to type anything, revel in your own failure. Hey, everyone's good at something, even if that something is failing!
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Failure Fantasy Sports League
NBA Season
NBA Season
You will draft 8 players and one team. You will start 5 players and one team.
Each month you will set your starters and you will not be able to change them until the next month. You cannot remove players even if they’re injured or have been suspended. Towards the end of each month there will be a period in which you will be able to update your starters for the next month. At that time, if you have an injured player you may drop that player and pick up another. That is the only instance in which you can add/drop players, so be careful when you’re drafting.
Scoring
Player
Shots Missed (combines free throws and field goals)
Turnovers
Fouls
Games missed
Team
Opponent Points Per Game
Home Losing %
Home Attendance Average
In each category each team is awarded points based on their rank in that category. At the end of each month those points are totaled. Those monthly scores are totaled to determine the season winner.
Each month you will set your starters and you will not be able to change them until the next month. You cannot remove players even if they’re injured or have been suspended. Towards the end of each month there will be a period in which you will be able to update your starters for the next month. At that time, if you have an injured player you may drop that player and pick up another. That is the only instance in which you can add/drop players, so be careful when you’re drafting.
Scoring
Player
Shots Missed (combines free throws and field goals)
Turnovers
Fouls
Games missed
Team
Opponent Points Per Game
Home Losing %
Home Attendance Average
In each category each team is awarded points based on their rank in that category. At the end of each month those points are totaled. Those monthly scores are totaled to determine the season winner.
Note: If you’ve done fantasy sports on yahoo!, this scoring will be identical.
Also, keep in mind that the totals will be based on a PER 48 MINUTE figure. Meaning, you might want the total failures, the guys who only play in one or two games a week, but yet wreck total havoc on their team (the mugshot gracing the top of this blog comes to mind), as opposed to guys like Mark Blunt, who will definitely get his minutes this year.
Another tip: Games Missed counts, so draft the really sketchy guys who can't go an entire season without ending up suspended/hurt/in jail/on drugs/on probation/expunged from the NBA. Always keep in mind our motto: If he looks like a Failure, acts like a Failure, and plays like a Failure, DRAFT THAT MAN.
There are always certain circumstances that call for extra points to be awarded, for example Ron Artest going into the stands last season, or Jason Kidd beating his wife. In these situations, the managers will vote on whether or not to award bonus points. If the managers vote to award points, Drew and Jake will decide how many points will be awarded.
There are always certain circumstances that call for extra points to be awarded, for example Ron Artest going into the stands last season, or Jason Kidd beating his wife. In these situations, the managers will vote on whether or not to award bonus points. If the managers vote to award points, Drew and Jake will decide how many points will be awarded.
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This league is based on bad sports performers, but good sportsmanship. So here’s to winning by failing!
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