Failure Fantasy League Charter

Baseball is often said to be a game of minimized failure - much like raising children (which someone recently told me is the least rewarding thing in the world). With that said, let's get on with the failing!

The 2007 season of Failure Fantasy Baseball is underway! In typical fashion, we will hold our draft on July 22nd, almost 4 months after the season began. Wow, we even fail at the failure league! We'll have stats for July, August and September, and perhaps a special playoff edition. There will be no exchange of money, simply our positive re-affirmations that we can spot a loser when we see one - and for some of us, that's every morning in the mirror.

Hopefully we're all familiar on how the scoring went for the ill-fated basketball league. It will be the same structure. You get 5 points if you lead the category for that month. 4 if you're in second, etc. It's not hard to figure out. Any questions, just look at the Basketball Charter.

We will draft 9 position players, 5 pitchers, and one team. You can draft any position player you want, including DH (although that will hurt your "errors" stat), and any pitchers you want as well (reliever, starter, or even Grant Balfour).

The Stats:

POSITION PLAYERS

Errors
Strikeouts
Batting Average
GDP

PITCHERS

ERA
Home Runs
Walks
Losses

TEAMS

Attendance
Home Losses
Runs Scored

The numbers are pretty self-explanatory. We'll be using stats from MLB.com and yahoo sports.

Now for the best part: the bonus points and other miscellaneous items.

Unlike the NBA, you don't get any credit for games missed due to injury/suspension/life non-success. So we counteract that with a caveat: if your player is sent to AAA/released/suspended, you get at least one bonus point for him for that month - then you presumably have to redraft for the next month. I say "at least one point" because it might be like Elijah Dukes aka The King, and you would obviously win the league for the year.

You cannot win this league if the team that you draft makes the playoffs. Sorry, we don't reward success at all. Draft a dogshit team that has no chance whatsoever.

If a player is caught using steroids, well then, you've probably earned victory. Again, these are all up to all 5 of us, so we'll decide what to do if it happens. But, for example, last year Nani basically won the league by default because of Artest's actions. Well, that and the fact that we couldn't prove shit.

So let's say you draft Corey Lidle and he makes like John Denver. You lose that player for that month, and you can redraft at the beginning of the next month for that position. Anyone is available for redraft.

We'll meet Sunday night, via AOL Instant Messenger, at 9pm Central time. The draft should only take 1-2 hours. To those that aren't going to be there: please draw up a list of as many players as you want to take, and we'll draft them for you when your time comes up. If they are not available, or we run out of options, we'll pick good players for you. Remember, the core of this league isn't to win, it's to celebrate failure. I think we all understand that, and there will be no shenanigans on draft night.

If you can make it, we'll see you on Sunday night. Anyone with any questions, send an email. Also if anyone wants posting access on the blog, I'll open it up to all members.

Happy Failing!

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The first two picks: