June 12, 2009

Call Me Bosephus

Ok, I was just watching the Twins play the Cubs, and someone mentioned something about Eddie Guardado. So I decided to look him up...

Hmmm, he's back on the Rangers. Ok, great. He's posted a 4.7 ERA this year, not bad, not bad. Then I saw on his ESPN page that he was brought up from AAA the same time as...

Oh dear. Is that Andruw Jones?

And that led me to the Texas Rangers roster for 2009. OH MY GOD, THE FAIL. THE FAIL.

Let's start at pitchers:

Joaquin Benoit - Dickfer, how much did we win off him in Vegas? 50? 400? I'll never forget the ticker... Rangers v. Twins, Radke had given up a few in the early innings (like you would expect any different) and we had the over. Score was something like Rangers 4, Twins 3 in the 6th inning. Then we saw the ticker... "NOW PITCHING, TEXAS J. BENOIT". Dickfer turns to me, "Win".

Jason Grilli - REALLY? Here's a guy who couldn't keep it together in the TIGER bullpen, where they employed Derek Smalls for 2 years AND Fernando Rodney.

Vincente Padilla - I remember a game against the Twins where he gave up like 4 home runs in an inning. I think one of them was to Punto.

Now position players:

Omar Vizquel - OH MY GOD HE STILL DRAWS BREATH.

Brandon Boggs - I thought this was Wade's son. One look at the picture on ESPN says otherwise. He's just like Boggs in every way except he's hitting .167 this year and .225 for his career. Which will be short.

Andruw Jones - Absolutely nothing I can say will provide the proper scope to just how far that man has fallen off the wagon. His failure now is entering epic proportions. Seriously, 5 years ago people would defend to their death his fielding prowess against guys like Torii and Griffey. Now? HE STARTED THE SEASON IN THE TEXAS RANGERS MINOR LEAGUES.

1 comment:

Dickfer said...

You just have to know J. Benoit's "strengths" and "talents" and you can use them for a desired outcome.

I'm pretty sure it was Benoit. Texas never put a premium on pitching this decade. Hell, they had Dickey.