May 23, 2007

You dead, dawg

Well, I mean, yeah.





So, supposedly, Elijah Dukes and his wife aren't getting along right now. Because he left her a voicemail that went something like this:

""You dead, dawg. I ain't even bullshittin. Your kids, too."

Now, I think we may be mistaken here. Obviously, he wouldn't be calling his wife "dawg". This has to have been intended for one of his friends, right?

Come on, look at that face. He wouldn't hurt anyone.

How many points do you get when a guy on your team tells his wife that she's dead, dawg? You must immediately win the season, right?

All of this is made infinitely more funny when you read this article, posted on ESPN.com less than two months ago. You'll want to read some of the quotes in there, and also watch the video. The absolute highlight:

"The anger would just take over," the rookie Devil Rays outfielder says. "Now when something happens, I can kind of switch sides and think about how the other person is thinking and how I can make it different."


Hmmm.... what do you think your wife was thinking about when you threatened her and her kids with murder?